I walked into that hospital room holding hands with my husband, unaware of how this first meeting would turn out, would I feel any unhealthy attachment to the baby? My own flesh and blood?
I had felt no more than the usual proud aunty feelings during the pregnancy, after all it was just an egg, a tiny microscopic cell all the hormones and hard work was done by my Sister In Law. But there was always the little worry in the back of my mind that actually meeting my niece, my biological daughter, could stir up unwanted emotions. What if she looked like me or my other children?
I took a deep breath and we opened the door.
She was beautiful, her mother lay on the bed cradling the tiny baby, glowing with pride and dreams for her new daughter. That sheer beauty of a first time mother staring into her babies eyes, pure love and anticipation knowing that she is embarking on a journey that will change her life forever in the most wonderful ways.
The proud father was sitting next to the bed exhausted from a night of no sleep but without a care in the world, just smiling at his first born child with a look of absolute devotion in his eyes.
We were the first family members told of the arrival and it was nice for the four of us to have some quiet time to bond a little before hoards of visitors arrived. We marvelled at how amazing the journey had been and how thankful we were that we live in an era where miracles really can happen.
My sister in law handed me her baby, and as I held the precious little girl in my arms she opened her big owl eyes and looked up at me, as our gaze met an immediate feeling of relief washed over me, and although I knew I would love her until the day I die, she did not feel like my child, she had found her true place in the world.
So many stars had lined up perfectly to bring her into existence and at that moment it was clear that everything was exactly as it was meant to be.